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A word to ease the pain

I have wanted to make some changes in my personal life. I am doing it because I really believe in my abilities and my consistency to accomplish goals.


Among the changes I am working on is; moving to a new house. Yesterday, I had scheduled a visit to the construction site and the truth is that I didn't feel motivated by the news.


Before the visit, I did a coaching session with my coach (yes, coaches are human too!) where we talked about my sadness. I noticed that thinking about the move was causing me to feel very sad.


Even though, It's something I want to do.


I shared with my coach my thoughts about the move and how the emotions I was building up were keeping me from moving forward. Here is a fragment of the story that I sometimes repeat to myself


“Because of his death I am trying to rebuild my life,


Because of his death, I am moving, and getting rid of furniture.


Because of his death I am raising a solo parent”


The most interesting thing about my story was the rhetoric. Telling this story was causing me so much suffering that I cried a lot while telling it.


My coach let me experience this sadness. She listened to me and was my guide during that moment of grief.


Losing my spouse has been very hard, so allowing myself to be sad becomes vital for my grief journey. Also it is to feel self-compassion.


After observing myself in this moment of grief, my coach offered me a word to change my rhetoric. I remembered being very confused and feeling resistant to change it. It was very powerful and provoked other emotions in myself.


I recalled telling my coach that it felt like when an orchestra comes playing the same "rhythm" and their director knows that something is missing.


He does not feel 100% convinced, and suddenly tells her orchestra to try another musical note and melody fits perfectly.


This is how it happened yesterday in that coaching session, I needed that guidance, that musical note.


And here it is how the melody sounds.



“Because of your life, I am writing the next chapter of my life.

Because of your life, I am packing and choosing what to take with me to the next chapter.

Because of your life, I am raising our son.

Because of your life, I am living my life intentionally and with a purpose.

It has not been easy,

and because of your life, I honor you with every decision I make".



I want to repeat this melody to myself when my late husband comes to my mind.



“Choose the melody with which you want to experience your days”


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