You may be thinking that your job as a widow is to feel sad, nostalgic, angry, among other emotions from the grieving experience, all the time.
I think it is important to acknowledge that even though I am a widowed mom and a griever, my whole life is not defined by these two circumstances.
I want to point this out because as a person who has lost a loved one, my brain tends to lean towards the grieving identity all the time. In other words, I often catch myself only seeing the “widow” and forgetting the "woman".
And this is the reason why many people feel scared to experience their grief.
They think that if they give space to the grieving experience, this one will take over their lives.
The good news is that it is not true.
You can always decide how much grief you want in your life, but it is very important that you become aware of your thoughts.
Remember, your grief is the natural response to the loss. There is nothing wrong with giving yourself time to hide, cry, miss, feel angry, lonely, etc.
However, it is vital that you nurture the other part of yourself, the one that doesn't grief.
Imagine yourself as the person that experiences all the emotions; excitement, content, acceptance, curiosity, joy, freedom, etc, (probably your old self).
Remind yourself of the wonderful things you used to believe about life.
Don't let go of the thoughts that help you feel good.
This week I invite you to fantasize with the place “where nothing happens”. This beautiful land where there are no failures, losses, criticisms.
Experience the energy, picture yourself in that free space and ask yourself
What can you bring from there to your this present moment?
In what ways can you be more of that version that recharges you?
Awake your whole self
Life is hard, but it is not meant to be hard all the time.
Ps 1: Just to keep you posted; I continue dating, working on my coaching business, traveling, playing with my son, working out, writing, journaling, learning, creating, etc.
Ps 2: Become a member of this webpage and get more information on the new course “Raising kids as a widowed mom”. This course aims to help widowed moms understand their thinking and emotions about solo parenting, grief and dating again.