Last month, I decided to date this handsome guy I met on Bumble. First, we met for a coffee and had a nice chat for about an hour. I didn't expect myself to find him very interested, and he was. We decided to meet again and go on more dates. Initially, I suggested four dates and a response to start a serious relationship. However, he didn't feel comfortable with the number and suggested 10 dates. I really tried my best to make it to the 10th date, but I changed my mind on the way.
I am writing this learning experience because one of my goals on dating is to get to know me more.
I just love it!!
And don't get me wrong, I enjoy asking questions to understand others.
We had 4 incredible dates, I am just starting to think that he may not be the right fit for me. Just right now.
Here I go with my three takeaways from this experience;
The first thing that I learned about myself is that “I care about the opinion of the people I love” (family, friends, date). Everyday, I work on myself and my thoughts to show up authentically. And there is nothing wrong with that, especially when what I am doing comes from a place of love. So, I am choosing certain people and certain feedback.
The second thing that I learned was that I have a manual for my “guy”. A manual is this instruction book that says how he is supposed to behave, react, and act. Electronic devices especially come with manuals, so you can learn how to operate them better, but humans!
And the problem came up when I was expecting him to behave a certain way and attaching my feelings to his actions. He was supposed to be “supportive” not “critical”. And I couldn't drop my manual, so I decided to walk away.
The third thing that I learned about myself was that after the second date “I was already in a relationship with him” (in my mind). And showing up as a loving woman was very easy for me. The objection was that he was not in a relationship, he was dating. Neither of us doing something wrong, just on a different page.
This week I invite you to
observe yourself and admire all you do to show your love.
Choose the people that you want their opinions to matter to you.
Work on detaching your feelings from other people’s behavior.
Dream big!!
Ps 1:I am not beating myself up, I am making this introspection in order to admire who I am. Every action described here makes sense to me.
Ps 2: Join me on my three month course of coaching and “Navigate your grief”. An opportunity to observe your thinking and change/improve your life.
"Experiencing your grief is not only about your dead spouse, it is about you and
your possibilities".
