I came to realize that there are some things other humans may want to know about us “widows”. To me dating is neutral. However, going out with a guy who is not my husband brings me emotions.
I decided to write about this because I find that guys tend to compare us (widows) with single or divorced women. Even though we may relate in certain ways, there are other things that differ. And I think it is important to acknowledge the differences.
1. Widows are not single by choice. Death did us apart. Regardless of the cause of death, we didn't grow apart and decided to go separate ways. Some of us still feel love for our late husbands. And it is ok.
2. Some of us prefer to go on the grief journey alone. It may be easier to find our own way with our own companionship. However, some others may prefer to experience their widowhood journey with someone. It is up to us. We are the ones who decide the time. Just respect our choice.
3. It may take time for widows to see that it's possible to find love. Our brain is in defensive mode. We don't want to go through another loss (breakup). Be patient!
4. Talking about our grief and our late husband may be important. We are sharing our experience and opening up to the possibility of love again. We don't need to move on.
5. We are holding onto a lot of love. We could be scared of hugging or maybe we will move quickly to the physical. No one taught us how to be widows. We are figuring it out.
Just remember that all of our circumstances are different. Always ask and do not try to change our feelings. There is nothing wrong with us.
We are just grieving.