Believing in my ability to do things right was a real struggle after the death of my husband. In my opinion my late husband had more experience on certain things than me. He was older, had been married before and had kids, so I was expecting to learn from him how to be a mom and an amazing wife. However, my life changed within 40 days; I gave birth to a boy and my husband passed away.
My thoughts of inadequacy became stronger as I had to step up in the role of solo parenting and make decisions with our lives.
I constantly repeated in my head the sentence “I am not doing it right”. The truth is that I didn't have experience on parenting and widowhood, but I also remembered researching them on the internet/books.
It was ok to feel defeated, and inadequate.
Parenting and grieving are processes. I needed to pause, my body needed to slow down, to reflect on my thoughts and actions. Even if my husband had been alive, he could have told me how to be a mom and a wife, I would have struggled.
Education can't happen without experiencing knowledge. Believing that “I was doing it right” had to be experienced in my mind and body.
And this has taken time!
Sometimes, I believe that “I am not doing it right”, and other times, my mind, soul and body align and I can see that “I couldn't have been doing it better”.
This week I invite you to
Identify the circumstances in which you think you aren't doing it right.
Name the emotions and ask yourself why you think those feelings are there.
Are there any opinions/voices in your head telling you how you should show up as a widowed mom?
Ps: Join my 3 month course and learn strategies to process emotions, feel your grief and open more room to new emotions.
It's never too late
